Gnomes
Have you ever had those times when things inexplicably disappear? I have a theory: gnomes. It all started on my honeymoon…
For those of you who know anything about me, I was recently married. My husband, Joel Carlton, is a technology-savy man who likes to over pack when he travels, so he carries every computer/camera/audio cable he could possibly need with him. Well, a day or so into the honeymoon, he couldn’t find his iSite. We looked everywhere: through the whole room, through all of our bags, under furniture, through the car, everywhere. We couldn’t find it. Then, a few days later, we couldn’t find one of his cables; same thing: we looked everywhere and couldn’t find it, but this time, it turned up a day or two later, and one or two other small items did the same thing over the remainder of the week. Then I realized it had to be gnomes.
Recently gnomes, originally defined as merely “dwarfish creatures that guard the earth’s treasures underground” (New Oxford American dictionary), have taken on the more mischievous connotation initially afforded to elves thanks to a combination of The Lord of the Rings’ glamorization and humanization of elves and South Park’s underwear gnomes. As a result, when I thought: “What could have caused these small items to disappear?” I immediately thought “gnomes.”
Now, please note; I am not a superstitious person, nor do I really believe in fairies, elves, or gnomes, but you have to admit; it sounds pretty good, when you can’t find something, to be able to say: “the gnomes must have taken it” instead of: “I’m sorry, honey, we must have left it at the last hotel.”
The story isn’t over yet.
When we got home, within a week, the iSite had mysteriously reappeared in one of the bags Joel had brought with him. It appeared the gnomes had followed us home.
So now, every once in a while something goes missing and shows up again in a few hours or days. This morning I knew exactly what shirt I wanted to wear but couldn’t find it. Before, I would have blamed the cat. Before I might have gotten worried. Now I know; it’s just the gnomes.
That’s funny how that seems to happen isn’t it. In our house the kids usually get blamed. With my folks they used to say the spooks did it. We all have our own catch phrases to explain the mystery of losing things and then it mysteriously appearing. I wonder what other people’s phrases are.
Funny… we always say, “It’s President Bush’s fault.”
Im going to kill the gnomes! They took some batteries from me and I want them back!